I had a weird dream of Christmas last night.  Maybe it wasn’t exactly Christmas, but Christmas shopping.

First of all it took place at a Mall.  I kinda extremely dislike malls.  Bizarre weird places that are only good for people watching (or getting angry at Apple Stores).

Anyways, I’m walking around a Mall at night, but still during business hours.  Not sure what I’m doing there, but I see a big box store.  They sell some gadget you’ve all seen sold on TV but that I can’t place right now for some reason.  It just has giant aisles and aisles full of this item.

However in the very back there is a section of the store dedicated to a new item.  It is a book read.  You put on headphones and use a telephone jack to plug the headphones into something that reads whatever book you want.

I’m mildly piqued and look around for someone to inquire about it with.  I find a tall skinny man with a pointed goatee.  He really wants to demonstrate it for me so I follow him to the front of the store.  As we get to the front all of the lights go out.  I look around and realize no one else is that with me.  It is just me and the sales clerk in the store.  When I check my watch it says 8:30 (I instinctively know that the store is open until 9).

He plugs the phone in (by telephone cord) to a small camera box he puts on a shelf.  It is directly above a book.  As he turns it on the device starts reading the book.  There are a few caveats though.  You have to manually turn the page, and as I find out, the camera section balances really delicately and is easy to shift and get out of place.

But the guy talks me into buying it.  Says he can throw in an extra so I’ll get three for the price of two (they are sold in two packs for some reason).We get to the back customer service counter (where you purchase it) and he pulls out a big circular tin, like the kind you get popcorn in.  It has big gaudy logos on it and it bright neon colored.

He tells me it will be $103.  Which is way more than I’m prepared to pay, however he goes on about how it is his first sale, how excited he is and how proud his boss will be of him.  So I give in.

I pull out my wallet, which is clearly not my wallet based on a) how much cash is in it; and b) how stuffed full and large it is.  Tons of receipts, paper, and business cards.  I count my cash but it turns out to be just shy of what is needed.  I got to pay by credit card, but at the last second I feel a little shifty about the guy, so decide I will use a check (which I happen to have with me).

I tell him I’ll pay by check.  This really confuses him but he says ok.  As soon as I pull out the check he grabs it and sends it through a machine.  I start to protest that I haven’t written anything on it and he looks more confused.  I realize he’s never seen a check in his life, that he clearly has no idea how they work or what they are for.  I try to get him to tell me the name of the store to put on the check, and he can’t tell me that (he doesn’t know the name of the store).  I go back to explaining the parts of a check slowly but he just takes my blank check and puts in the register drawer and gives a receipt.

The dream ends here, but kind of doesn’t.  I remember walking out into a dark empty parking lot with the tin under my arm, trying to figure out who the hell I could give this crappy gift to.  I think Dad came to mind.

It was cool though.  It was one of those dreams where I didn’t remember it until half an hour after I woke up.  Just sort of doing something else and it all came flooding back.