Glad I’ve left the church…

I’ve been an atheist for a long time. It’s been 20+ years since I’ve considered myself a Catholic. 

I’ve only called myself an atheist for the last 12 or so years. A slow journey from the hypocrasy of the Catholic church to the realization that religion, spirituality, or anything resembling that has no place in my life.

But the church still baffles me. What does it do in response to declining membership, increasing scandals, and a narrow world view…. It puts up walls.

Case and point. Catholic Bishops in the America just gave themselves the power to deny communion on anyone who is pro-life.

And why…. Because Joe Biden is Catholic, President, and Pro-Choice.

My dad once told me “When I’m asked if it bugs me that you don’t attend church anymore, I tell them that it doesn’t at all. That I believe you (and your siblings) are good, kind, people that I can be proud of. That I think being raised in the Catholic church helped with that.”

This was long after I stopped going to church and well on the way to out and out calling myself an atheist. And for a long time I really liked what my dad said.

But reflecting on it over a decade later, giving any credit to the church is too much and takes away from the amazing people my mom and dad are.

My morals, who I am as an adult is largely in part to how he and my mother raised me, not some narrow minded conservative organization that shelters pedophiles, treats women as second class citizens unable to hold the same positions as men, and holding onto the belief the a woman’s body is no longer her own to make decisions over once she is pregnant – no matter the circumstances that lead to the pregnancy, the current situation or beliefs of the woman, or health/medical factors regarding either fetus or woman.

Tork

tork logoI have to tell you, I love that my father works for Tork.

Maybe it is just because I know the name now, but I see Tork products all over the place.  It may be sad, but they are little reminders of home to me.

I see Tork Napkin Dispensers at restaurants all the time.  They were even at Camp Fitch, where I took a group of 5th Graders on a field trip recently. And every time I see them I remember my father telling me about a question he asked when Tork first bought the paper mill he works at.

Dad – “What does Tork mean anyways?”

Tork Employee – “To Wipe.” Soooooo Appropriate.

Parental Units

I’ll admit. I have some pretty awesome parents.

I’m lucky in that sense. I’ve never been embarrassed by my parents. They are just genuinely nice friendly people. So when they were out to visit this last weekend it was a lot of fun.

They didn’t get in until Saturday around noon. Sam and I took them out to lunch (Aladdin’s) and then went to the Rocky River Nature Center and did some trail walking. It’s a nice view of the Cleveland area that you don’t get unless you make an effort to get there. For dinner Saturday we hit Happy Dog. Best vegan sausages (or hot dogs) and Tatter Tots ever served at a pub.

We played cards Saturday night. That’s what my family does.

Sunday we hit Coffee Pot (best hole-in-the-wall breakfast place out here), then went to the Cleveland Museum of Art for a few hours before meeting Sam’s parents at Debonne Winery, music and general outdoor awesomeness. It was the perfect slightly cloudy warm weather.

Sam and I made pizza from scratch for dinner Sunday night. We played some more cards and watched a little tv to relax. I had to work Monday, so my parents did what my parents do when they can…. they went to the casino. They also hit up the West Side Market. For dinner we all got Melt.

Tuesday morning they even made it out to the school I work at and met some co-workers before taking off for Atlantic City.

See… I don’t make plans per say when people visit, I’m actually a horrible planner. But there’s a lot more to do in Cleveland than just the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame and I do a good job of winging it. And we definitely made the best out of the time my parents were here.

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My father… or Cause I’m a Charpentier

So I find that I do best biking when I listen to either talk radio or a book on tape.

I know… you’re not supposed to listen to music while biking, but I can’t help it.  I don’t turn it up loud, I can hear cars coming from way down the street, and have never had someone say something at me while biking that I didn’t know. N0w I’m listening Dune on tape.  I’m loving it.  I haven’t read Dune in years, and for some reason Sam brought it up last week and we watched it (the SciFi Channel Version) over the weekend.

So I’m listening to it and I come across this quote:

There is probably no more terrible instant of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man — with human flesh.

So he’s obviously talking about the death of his father, or the idea that your father is mortal.  It got me thinking.

My father may not be the Kwisatz Haderach, but damned if he isn’t a Charpentier.  Not that being a Charpentier carries the same notion with others of my family as it does with me.  I always use the excuse “I’m a Charpentier” to push myself further.  It’s a reason to trust my body when I get sick, that it would let me know if I needed to see a doctor (Charpentier Genes!!!).  It’s a reason to exercise, and not be happy about being out of shape.  It’s a reason to bike 50 miles completely unprepared for.  It’s a reason for getting frustrated when someone passes me while I’m biking or running.  I’m a Charpentier, I should be able to keep up.  And overall, I’m a Charpentier I’ll get by, I can do that regardless of not being prepared.  I’ll persevere.

Cause I’m a Charpentier.

This is in no small part because of my father.  He’s a pretty aged (65) and still looks like he could kick my ass.  Or at least take me in wrestling.  He’s been a role model for a lot of my life, like I assume many fathers are.  He’s also pretty indestructible.  He survived Vietnam, the 70’s, having his knee tore up, being run over by a Jeep Wrangler and 5 children.  FIVE Kids. 3 of them girls.  He’s still sane, in good shape, and can follow conversation with someone without even looking like he’s paying attention (its a pretty impressive ability).

My dad rocks.  And while I’m not sure where I’m going with this post, that quote in Dune made me think of him.

Cause while he has shown signs of aging, and is probably mortal, I’m not entirely convinced yet that he isn’t immortal either. And that only adds to all the other stuff that already makes him pretty amazing.

PJ, Dad and MeMy brother, Dad and myself.

 

Whole Bunch of Junk

Cleveland (and Ohio as a whole) has to have the worst drivers.  Statistically I’m sure its a fact.  They’re bad.  Really bad.  I may live in Cleveland, but grew up driving somewhere else, which allows me to set myself apart.  But Ohio, you do driving wrong.

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I had a dream about watching my father drive when he was young (in his 20’s).  He was skinny and drove a car that made a loud “WUGA WUGA WUGA” noise when it was started.  We were good friends and it wasn’t strange even though we knew I was his son.  I helped him daily push start his crappy old car.  Weird.

 

Tea then Coffee?  I’ve started drinking tea in the morning, and coffee throughout the work day.  Don’t know why, but its a slight change.

Lazy.  I’ve mentioned my lack of motivation to exercise.  So this morning I stepped on the scale and sort of looked through my fingers at the LCD expected it to just say fat.  Instead it said 174.  Basically 4 pounds off of where I was mid-exercise craze. I hovered around 170 at my low last year. I’m ok with that.

Sabres are playing today.  Woooooooooooooo o o o….

Excitement around Sabres games has gone so far downhill.  Let’s hope the win tonight to get me excited again.  Damn you Buffalo sports teams.

Dream a Horrible Christmas Dream

I had a weird dream of Christmas last night.  Maybe it wasn’t exactly Christmas, but Christmas shopping.

First of all it took place at a Mall.  I kinda extremely dislike malls.  Bizarre weird places that are only good for people watching (or getting angry at Apple Stores).

Anyways, I’m walking around a Mall at night, but still during business hours.  Not sure what I’m doing there, but I see a big box store.  They sell some gadget you’ve all seen sold on TV but that I can’t place right now for some reason.  It just has giant aisles and aisles full of this item.

However in the very back there is a section of the store dedicated to a new item.  It is a book read.  You put on headphones and use a telephone jack to plug the headphones into something that reads whatever book you want.

I’m mildly piqued and look around for someone to inquire about it with.  I find a tall skinny man with a pointed goatee.  He really wants to demonstrate it for me so I follow him to the front of the store.  As we get to the front all of the lights go out.  I look around and realize no one else is that with me.  It is just me and the sales clerk in the store.  When I check my watch it says 8:30 (I instinctively know that the store is open until 9).

He plugs the phone in (by telephone cord) to a small camera box he puts on a shelf.  It is directly above a book.  As he turns it on the device starts reading the book.  There are a few caveats though.  You have to manually turn the page, and as I find out, the camera section balances really delicately and is easy to shift and get out of place.

But the guy talks me into buying it.  Says he can throw in an extra so I’ll get three for the price of two (they are sold in two packs for some reason).We get to the back customer service counter (where you purchase it) and he pulls out a big circular tin, like the kind you get popcorn in.  It has big gaudy logos on it and it bright neon colored.

He tells me it will be $103.  Which is way more than I’m prepared to pay, however he goes on about how it is his first sale, how excited he is and how proud his boss will be of him.  So I give in.

I pull out my wallet, which is clearly not my wallet based on a) how much cash is in it; and b) how stuffed full and large it is.  Tons of receipts, paper, and business cards.  I count my cash but it turns out to be just shy of what is needed.  I got to pay by credit card, but at the last second I feel a little shifty about the guy, so decide I will use a check (which I happen to have with me).

I tell him I’ll pay by check.  This really confuses him but he says ok.  As soon as I pull out the check he grabs it and sends it through a machine.  I start to protest that I haven’t written anything on it and he looks more confused.  I realize he’s never seen a check in his life, that he clearly has no idea how they work or what they are for.  I try to get him to tell me the name of the store to put on the check, and he can’t tell me that (he doesn’t know the name of the store).  I go back to explaining the parts of a check slowly but he just takes my blank check and puts in the register drawer and gives a receipt.

The dream ends here, but kind of doesn’t.  I remember walking out into a dark empty parking lot with the tin under my arm, trying to figure out who the hell I could give this crappy gift to.  I think Dad came to mind.

It was cool though.  It was one of those dreams where I didn’t remember it until half an hour after I woke up.  Just sort of doing something else and it all came flooding back.