Maybe I do too much half-heartedly. I don't know. I draw on a daily basis, but don't do anything with my artwork other than put it online for friends and family to see. I don't really throw myself into projects any more. I used to. I should more often. I haven't put a lot of effort into much lately. I have just been floating. Or really just drifting. Half-hearted.

Take tonight for example. Got home around 6:45. Made some dinner, sat and thought about what to draw. I had to do a make up drawing for yesterday. So I had two drawings to do. While thinking of what to draw I put on the TV. Not to watch but more as background noise. I took a bunch of pictures of myself, which is what I do when I come up with ideas to draw put need specific poses or images to draw from. I got a small glass of whiskey on the rocks. I drew, which took me a few hours (really...when I sit to draw it takes me a while to finish a drawing). Some days I can finish a drawing in a few minutes, most of the time it takes me half an hour to a full hour. And I drew two tonight. I played with Angelo, drank some more whiskey, read some news online and chatted with a few friends. And here it is. Midnight.

Things I intended to do tonight included sending out resumes, knitting (I actually got out some knitting stuff, but only located it in pieces and didn't start anything), the dishes, or read. But I did none of those. Eh....just feeling, out of sorts a little tonight. No friends around to hang with tonight. So its been a long night of very little.

So maybe, I'll start putting more effort into my life. I wonder how many people say that to themselves at one point or another. I wish I could say that its a sobering moment. One of those grand realizations, but its not.