Everyone has a few quirks. That's what make them interesting. I dated a girl once who refused to walk on grates on the sidewalk. Always thought they were less secure than the sidewalk. She also refused to blow her nose when it was stuffy, rather wiped it. Which is fine, she claimed that blowing your nose wasn't natural or something along those lines.

Apparently she was right. According to a New York Times article scientists found out people who don't blow their nose when sick with a cold get healthy much quicker than those who do. You can read it here. Also there is a "right" way to blow your nose. I'm not joking, its on WebMD.

In other news, yesterday I was driving to work and saw a wolf standing at the side of the highway. He was just looking across the lanes staring. It was and eerily beautiful sight. No pack, no mate, just on solo wolf. He wasn't sitting, but standing up right. It was very cool and made me happy. I got on the phone and called people just to tell them (well those that answer their phone at 8 am). Wish I had a picture of it.


Its funny how things intertwine. I was thinking of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind today, and listened to the soundtrack. Of course Eternal Sunshine brings back memories. Its just one of those movies. And I love it.

Then I talk to Pat. Who says that there are now scientists who say a drug can break down fearful memories. It is some sort of blood pressure medicine. Its kind of scary. The article is here.

I agree with the end of the article. How its scary. How our memories and the emotional connections we form around those memories make us who we are. Imagine being able to remember a moment in time, without any emotional attachment to that memory. I'm not exactly sure how the drug works. If the memory is completely erased or just the fear and attachment to that memory is erased. Maybe I'm just being over cautious, maybe I value my memories too much. Maybe I think memories are too important to be casually, or even as part of treatment. Painful memories, that are lost naturally, or repressed by the brain are meant to go. Erasing someone's memories, even traumatic ones, is a scary thought. And a scary power for someone to have.

And Back

Weird flight home. I went to the airport with Mim this morning. Her flight back to Florida left over an hour before mine did. But it was good to talk to Mim. Her and I are kind of in the same place in our lives right now.

I bought the book "The Audacity of Hope" by Barack Obama. Its good. Really good. My flight attendant was a little loopy. He actually threw bags of peanuts down the aisle at people. It was funny. I played with my camera on my phone a lot. I took tons of pictures. I posted a whole bunch up on Flickr. I played with all the settings and features and took shots out the windows.

Here are some samples. The rest are




A list from Vegas:

Not knowing Carrie's flight number
Not knowing the hotel we stayed at
Everyone's broke
Stratosphere (bad alfredo)
Awesome Rides though
Mountains Galore
Evil Twin
IP! (Imperial Palace)
$15 Blackjack
Jello Shots
Mother Puckers
"You're turning into dad."
Angie's Wedding (duh)
Remember when we dated and Angie hated both of us
brothers should give speeches
Angie's 'Fredrick's of Hollywood' purchase
Multiple PJ stories about the same thing
disappointing Circ du Soliel
Head slap
Cake shake
Grandpa Joe
Vegas traffic
"Why aren't you teaching?'
Long Dan Call
Valentine's Day is for chumps
Lost Luggage
Planet Hollywood
Bad Chinese for chumps
Monorail (with Carrie for backup)
"HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY" (thank you Jessica)

Chicago O'Hare

So I'm sitting in Chicago O'Hare Airport with five dollars to spare to my name.  And I decide to blow it on fifteen minutes on an internet machine (since my laptop can't travel).
Thoughts this morning.  The drive to Cleveland airport was way easier than I expected.  My bag was hand searched.  Books are dangerous because that was they were looking at in my bag.  The sun came up from behind the plane on my way to Chicago.  The clouds were lit up all fire red.  It was a pretty impressive sight from above the clouds.  Reminds me of my first solo flying expirience where I flew to California.  There was a thunder storm all over the mid-west and we flew above it.  It was night and I looked down at the clouds from above and saw all the lighting sprawling out across the tops of the clouds.  Amazing view.
I'm not nervous about flying on Friday the 13th.  Even if there was a plane crash not far from where I lived last year this morning.  Strange coincedence though.
I'm in Chicago.  Reminds me of Alena.  She still lives here as far as I know.  She was in a play out here last fall.  Still feel bad that I haven't spoken to her in years.
I am now looking forward to Vegas.  If for nothing else but a get away.  I've been confused about a lot lately.  Just perplexed really.  And getting away around a sappy holiday time of the year, I can take that as a bonus. 
I've been thinking about turning thirty.  Next week.  6 days away.  Will I feel more grown up?  What will I do for my birthday?  Do I want to do anything?  Last year I went to the casino by myself at around one am on my birthday.  Not really an option this year.  So what will I do?  Maybe nothing.  I'm planning on going to Buffalo the weekend after my birthday.  Two weekends in a row out of Cleveland.  And it doesn't bug me at all.  Maybe its a sign about Cleveland.

All Dressed Up

I like that sometime you don't do things and then regret it instantly. Its a good feeling. In the gut. That why didn't I feeling. Oh well.

I'm packing now. Screw Off Cleveland. I'm Vegas bound. At least for the weekend. A good escape. From work and from life. I'll pretend I have money and hope to hit it big. That's the solution. Just go there and let all these stupid life things that circle my brain drop for a weekend.

Morning Thoughts

I'm trying to shoot this off before running out to work.

Random Thoughts:
There is a flow of water in the wall between my bedroom closet and the bathroom.
Said water flow is making the carpet in and in front of my bedroom closet wet.
I had a dream one of my teeth broke in half today while I was eating (like I woke up, ate lunch and my tooth broke).
I brushed my teeth really good this morning.
Valentine's Day both bugs and perplexes me this year.
Relationships are strange, and someone at work told me I was a serial relationship person.
Looking back at the last decade of my life (1998 - now) the only significant times of my life I didn't date or was in a relationship with someone was the summer of 2000 (2 months), the first few months I lived in Buffalo (August through November 2002), and now (since Jenna moved back to Buffalo).
I guess that person was right.

I woke up and had the urge to shave. First time in I think 4 weeks. Gone is Grizzily AJ, back is baby face AJ.


It was one of those days. Long, frustrating, annoying. So I played loud music to drown it out whenever I could. A little Black Metallic. A little Zero. A little God. A little Perfect Drug. A little Wake Me When Its Over. A little I'm a Believer.

Like I say sometimes, There's more I'm sure. It was just one of those days I wanted badly to get home. And felt better as soon as I got here.


Things I've been told recently:

I'm important.
I have banging eyelashes.
Mean AJ comes out when I'm teaching (what she meant was I was strict about rules).
I'm not crazy.
I'm a little out there.
I've had interesting people in my life.
I'm fun to work with.
My cat is cute.
My cat feels emasculated due to his purple collar (that's paraphrased).
Why would you tell someone that?
I'm sorry.
I can't say I'm sorry.
Wait a minute.
Go ahead.

Weird Dream

So I had another realistic dream last night. I recall most of it. Not all of it though.

I am in this big house. Where all these male japanese stars live on one floor. But they are all self loathing with little confidence in themselves. They all want to talk to the female japanese stars who live on the floor above them, but don't have the courage to. And don't think they can because the girls are "out of their league."

I walk up to the next floor where the female stars live. They are bored with waiting for the male stars to come up and talk to them, but don't want to go to them and start the conversation. I head out the fire escape on the side of the house after chatting with them for a bit. I sit on the fire escape and stare at the stars for a little while when I hear some commotion at the front of the house.

Around the front of the house I see Reggie. He's picking up some hats that these drunks on the balcony threw down. Reg, being the nice guy he is, tosses their hats back up to them. They are drunk and laugh at him and throw them down to him again. After Reg collects them I tell him to give them to me. I toss them over the fence into the woods while the drunks are all angry and yelling at me. (There is more to this part of the dream, like I remember thinking I should do something to their hats, spit on them, burn them or something. I don't recall if I did. And I remember, for some reason, that Reg was hanging from the gutter.)

After Reg and I walk around the driveway to the sidewalk. It is still night out, and I don't know if we had roller skates on or the sidewalk was just icy, I want to say just icy. We start skating down the side walk (like I said, maybe its just icy, it feels like skating though), and Colin pops out of another driveway along with some other guy I can't place. He seems familiar, but I don't recall his name. We are skating off ramps and everything. Its fun. I remember doing something like ollies but with no skate board in the air.

We go into this cul de sac, with a giant field in the middle. We stop and start playing lacrosse on the field. Reggie and I don't have sticks, but we are using a tennis ball so its not that big of a deal to use our hands. We're having a good time, the sun starts to come up and we see the drunks from the balcony walking to an adjacent field. They are all hung over. One of the, angry from the night, takes a swing at either Reg or I (I don't recall). I think I trip him, or tackle him, or something. We all are laughing as he slinks off the field and joins his friends. We go back to playing lacrosse.

They come back (there are four of them as well) and challenge us to a game of lacrosse. We agree, and huddle together to make a plan. We are playing on half a field somehow, like if you play pick up basketball. They laugh at our planning and try to disrupt our huddle. So we figure screw it, we'll just make it up. I have the ball (and a stick now) and start running cross field towards the net. One of their guys lowers his shoulders and takes a run at me. When he gets close I jump up a little and knee him in the chin. He falls and I keep running towards the goal (although I distinctly remember how much it hurt my knee to do that).

Then I wake up. This dream was weird for many reasons. I haven't seen or spoken to Colin in over a year. I never played lacrosse outside of gym class in high school. Skating on icy roads makes no sense. The drunks on the balcony of the house. The Japanese people. It is all bizarre. And the moon was really big during the night. And Reg hanging from the gutter (I have no clue when that even happened, I just know it did). And despite how much happened, it all seemed to link together in a matter of minutes.

And it was really vivid and realistic. The kind of dream you wake up from not knowing if it was a dream or not.

Songs I've listened to a lot recently

Without rhyme or reason, these are songs I've listened to a lot lately. Stuck in my head songs so to speak. Take what you will from it.

Untitled and Unsung - Belly
You're All I've Got Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins
One Year Later - The Get Up Kids
My Doorbell - The White Stripes
Beds and Lawns - Sorry About Dresden
His Eyes Are A Blue Million Miles - Joan Osborne
Dry the Rain - The Beta Band
Black Metallic - Catherine Wheel
Underwear - Pulp
Car Song - Madder Rose
Sam's Town - The Killers
Amber Waves - Tori Amos
Magnificent Seven - The Clash

And lastly, and coming from left field;

Punk Rock Girl - The Dead Milkmen


Stupid Facebook and its 25 Random things. Oh well. Why not. So here's mine.

1. I used to drink two pots of coffee a day. I've cut back since then. During the same period of time I took 16 or more Ibuprofen a day. I was in pain.
2. I once was close enough to death that doctors didn't think I'd pull through. Showed those bastards.
3. I can figure out most anything if I have the time and am remotely interested.
4. My cat is probably my best friend.
5. I'm a rather optimistic person. Even if I haven't shown it lately.
6. When I told my mother I felt like I was at the lowest point in my life she said "You've had a good run, you were due for a downturn."
7. In college I had black satin sheets on my bed They were awesome.
8. I've given two best man speeches even though I've only been best man once.
9. Nugs. Any adjective in front of those four letters makes a wonderful statement.
10. I went on spring break once. I woke up under a van, under a ping pong table, on a bed, on a couch, on a deck chair, and on the floor.
11. I am pretty sure I have body image issues from when I wrestled in high school. I had to "suck weight" constantly for months. If I'm not skinny and in shape I think I'm fat. And even though I've lost almost 30 pounds in the last two years, I still find myself looking in the mirror and thinking I'm fat.
12. I can draw the best stick figures in the world.
13. I also make the best grilled cheese in the world. Much better than yours. I'll tell you my secret if you ask though.
14. I've had a dart through directly at my face. I lived.
15. I was raised Roman Catholic, but I don't agree with it. Nor do I think any other religion is perfect or would really suit me. I do believe in some sort of higher power, and something along the lines of a soul.
16. I make great cookies from scratch.
17. I get mistaken for being younger than my brother. I'm 8 years older than him.
18. I drove across the country once, and really want to do it again sometime.
19. I was a vegetarian for over 8 years, for no reason at all.
20. I once ran 10 miles in 61 minutes.
21. I don't believe in winter jackets. Layers, a scarf, some gloves and a light jacket or sweater and I'm good. Too bad I don't wear a scarf or gloves often.
22. I love watching Roller Derby.
23. After watching Dragon Ball Z one night in college, my friend Pat tackled me and we fought. It was later revealed that the whole episode was about how two people were better friends after they fought. I had four knuckle bruises across my forehead for days. We're best friends now.
24. That wasn't the first time one of my best friends had purposely punched me in the face.
25. My friends and I once stayed up for 5 nights, 6 days in a row just to see if we could. We stopped when Reggie fell asleep while swimming and sank to the bottom.


Madder Rose has been stuck in my head for the last couple days. Stupid internet fails me. I've found the lyrics for only a few songs by them. I'm looking around for more lyrics, before I have dig out my giant box of cd covers to find the lyrics in there. If the lyrics were even in there in the first place. Oh well.