This a short skit I wrote years ago in college. Probably in 1999 or 2000. Sometime junior year when Sean and I were upset that our roommate Matt spent all his time with Sarah. And although maybe the conversation about Matt and Sarah is dead on, its only cause we were friends and pissed Matt is never around, not a reflection on Sarah. I mean come on, I gave the best man speech at their wedding.

Socks
Time and Location: Late night, college dorm room, bunk beds

Sean: I'm going to bed (climbs in lower bunk)
AJ: Ya, me too (clmmers up to the top bunk)

Slight pause

AJ: You really tired?
Sean: Ya, quite a bit.
AJ: Wow, I'm not.
Sean: So why are you going to bed then?
AJ: I dunno.
Sean: No videogaming?
AJ: Nah.
Sean: Porn?
AJ: Nah, porn's only good for so long.
Sean: I guess.
AJ: Know what I was thinking?
Sean: What?
AJ: Socks are a thing of the past. No socks is the future.
Sean: Oh really?
AJ: Ya, I think in the future no one will wear socks. So I'm not wearing any now.
Sean: Why?
AJ: Cause, Its just my thoughts. And I'm right.
Sean: Well no socks is better than not wearing deodorant, too bad you do that also.
AJ: Ya, but there's a different reason for that. Deodorant causes pit stains. And they're no fun.
Sean: So you would rather smell than stain a shirt?
AJ: I don't smell, well on occasion I am a smelly bastard.
Sean: Like today.
AJ: Well ya, but that's cause I didn't shower.
Sean: But when's the last you showered everyday for a week?
AJ: Well I like grease. A little grease never hurt anyone, except the mutant grease.
Sean: If you say so.
AJ: Well I do.
Sean: Think Matt will be back tonight?
AJ: Considering its 3 a.m., I doubt it. Apparently friends don't matter.
Sean: Either that or Sarah matters more.
AJ: That frothy bitch, man I hate her.
Sean: Me too.
AJ: What would you do if they got married?
Sean: I wouldn't go to it.
AJ: Really?
Sean: Yup.
AJ: I would go, out of respect for our friendship, cause I'm a good person.
Sean: You keep telling yourself that.
AJ: I'm a better person than you.
Sean: Look at this year alone; who has done more horrid stuff?
AJ: I've only done kinda bad stuff.
Sean: In your own eyes maybe.
AJ: So you're better than me?
Sean: Yep.
AJ: Aww crap...I'm a bad person.
Sean: Finally accepting it, huh?
AJ: I guess. Man my feet are cold.
Sean: Put some socks on.
AJ: I think I'll be fine. I'll just go to sleep instead.

Lights out.