Dream a Horrible Christmas Dream

I had a weird dream of Christmas last night.  Maybe it wasn’t exactly Christmas, but Christmas shopping.

First of all it took place at a Mall.  I kinda extremely dislike malls.  Bizarre weird places that are only good for people watching (or getting angry at Apple Stores).

Anyways, I’m walking around a Mall at night, but still during business hours.  Not sure what I’m doing there, but I see a big box store.  They sell some gadget you’ve all seen sold on TV but that I can’t place right now for some reason.  It just has giant aisles and aisles full of this item.

However in the very back there is a section of the store dedicated to a new item.  It is a book read.  You put on headphones and use a telephone jack to plug the headphones into something that reads whatever book you want.

I’m mildly piqued and look around for someone to inquire about it with.  I find a tall skinny man with a pointed goatee.  He really wants to demonstrate it for me so I follow him to the front of the store.  As we get to the front all of the lights go out.  I look around and realize no one else is that with me.  It is just me and the sales clerk in the store.  When I check my watch it says 8:30 (I instinctively know that the store is open until 9).

He plugs the phone in (by telephone cord) to a small camera box he puts on a shelf.  It is directly above a book.  As he turns it on the device starts reading the book.  There are a few caveats though.  You have to manually turn the page, and as I find out, the camera section balances really delicately and is easy to shift and get out of place.

But the guy talks me into buying it.  Says he can throw in an extra so I’ll get three for the price of two (they are sold in two packs for some reason).We get to the back customer service counter (where you purchase it) and he pulls out a big circular tin, like the kind you get popcorn in.  It has big gaudy logos on it and it bright neon colored.

He tells me it will be $103.  Which is way more than I’m prepared to pay, however he goes on about how it is his first sale, how excited he is and how proud his boss will be of him.  So I give in.

I pull out my wallet, which is clearly not my wallet based on a) how much cash is in it; and b) how stuffed full and large it is.  Tons of receipts, paper, and business cards.  I count my cash but it turns out to be just shy of what is needed.  I got to pay by credit card, but at the last second I feel a little shifty about the guy, so decide I will use a check (which I happen to have with me).

I tell him I’ll pay by check.  This really confuses him but he says ok.  As soon as I pull out the check he grabs it and sends it through a machine.  I start to protest that I haven’t written anything on it and he looks more confused.  I realize he’s never seen a check in his life, that he clearly has no idea how they work or what they are for.  I try to get him to tell me the name of the store to put on the check, and he can’t tell me that (he doesn’t know the name of the store).  I go back to explaining the parts of a check slowly but he just takes my blank check and puts in the register drawer and gives a receipt.

The dream ends here, but kind of doesn’t.  I remember walking out into a dark empty parking lot with the tin under my arm, trying to figure out who the hell I could give this crappy gift to.  I think Dad came to mind.

It was cool though.  It was one of those dreams where I didn’t remember it until half an hour after I woke up.  Just sort of doing something else and it all came flooding back.

Yellow Tears

I had yellow tears last night.  Like NEON YELLOW TEARS.  I’d actually write that in yellow color but no one would be able to see it.

So I went to the eye doctor last night and told him how my left eye has been very irritable lately when I wear my contacts.  After some examination he discovered I had a minor form of giant papillary conjunctivitis.  Basically little bumps on the inside of my eyelid.  Which is why it still feels like something is still under my eyelid when I take out my contacts. He prescribes Alaway, an over the counter anti-allergy eye drop, figuring that it will go away with a week of no contact wearing and a different kind of contacts with a softer edge to them.

He also decides to look for glaucoma, which requires putting a little anesthetic on my eyes.  No problem there.

On the way home I stop and buy the Alaway (14 dollars…. crazy for eye drops).  I get home and head to the bathroom to put them in.  Immediately I start tearing up with neon yellow tears.  I wipe them away with a tissue (which itself soaks up the tears and has neon yellow polka dots where I dabbed).  If it wasn’t so bizarre it would be kind of cool.  I searched online for Neon Yellow Tears and only find the band Yellow Tears.  At least I think they are a band.

I can’t imagine I”m the only person this has ever happened to, but no one else has had neon yellow tears that I’ve found on the internet.  I’ve found yellow tears (but not neon) linked with jaundice.  I’m fairly certain I don’t have jaundice, and these weren’t tinted yellow, they were neon yellow.

Thankfully when I put the Alaway in this morning the tears were normal and clear.  It was just a reaction between the Alaway and whatever anesthetic the eye doctor gave me, but man it was bizarre.

A day of cleaning

Sam and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary last night. Crazzzzy.

We went to Happy Dog for some awesome vegan hot dogs and tatter tots. We then moseyed down the road to catch Skyfall at the Capitol Theater. And it was good. It started a little slowly I thought but plodded along until it was fantastic.

Today we’ve attacked our office area. It’s the least used room of our apartment (whoa!!! We have a big enough place to have a least used room. That’s pretty awesome). I have done a fecal scrub and the floor is now clear of any of Angelo’s accidents. Being a cat with intestinal issues can’t be easy or comfortable.

We cleaned up the guinea pig cage and are going to completely redo the shape of their cage. We also cleaned out the closet and went to down de-cluttering the room. It’s all good.

Now I’m starving and it’s time for food. Or at least coffee.

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Couch Lounging in the Office

Apple’s Crappy Customer Service

Let me just start with the e-mail I sent to Apple’s Customer.  I say sent but it was rather typed out on a “Feedback Form” on Apple’s site:

I have been wanting to get an iPhone 5 for several weeks now.  I have called on a semi-weekly basis inquiring on stock, and, for the most part, have been told there was no AT&T iPhone 5’s in stock.  On the occasion they had them in stock, by the time I got to the store they were sold out.  On more than one occasion I’ve just randomly shown up to see if they were any in stock and on every time they were sold out.

That I’m ok with.  I don’t even feel let down when I show up and they are out of stock.  I’m ok with that.

When I call I’ve been told to try to order the phone online and see if I can pick it up on the store when I check out.  I’ve been hesitant to do this, I like the idea of just walking in an buying it in store, but last night I decided to take a chance and see if they were in stock for pick up at the store.

Late at night (after midnight) I logged on Apple.com, ordered a 16 gig Black iPhone 5 for use on AT&T for pick up at the store.  I had two gift cards to Apple that I used for the purchase (one for $34.26 and one for $101.62), and paid for the rest of the phone and a lighting to 30 pin adapter with my debit card.

I woke up and excitedly headed to the Crocker Park Apple Store.  When I got there I was greeted like I had been many times in the past, and after a short wait was helped by a specialist named Rick.  He was very friendly and helpful, and got my phone and adapter right out to me.

He double checked everything, had me sign what I needed to sign and then proceeded to try and activate the iPhone 5.  There I was, early in the morning standing in the Apple Store excitedly staring at the box that contained the phone I had been waiting to purchase for over a month.

The activation process sent back an error code.  Rick tried again several times, informing me that there may be an issue with AT&T servers being overloaded, and assured me that after few minutes it should be fine.  He tried to activate the phone for several minutes in a row, all while being personable and friendly.  Finally he told me that he would call the AT&T help number.

After a quick verification of who I was, AT&T informed him that the error was an Apple error, because I had reserved and purchased it online it had to be cleared from store inventory before it could be activated (this is how Rick relayed the information to me).  Rick consulted another Apple employee who told him he would have to cancel my order, then resell me the iPhone in order to activate it.  The other employee told Rick this was how to solve the problem, it had happened before, and this was the only way to solve the error.

I asked about being charged twice and he told me that the money would be put back into my account, but it would take several days, so for now it would look like I was charged twice but that wouldn’t be the case.  I then asked about the gift cards, that I had been saving them to make this purchase.

Rick told me that there was no way I could use them to purchase the phone today.  It would take a minimum of 5 days for the money on the gift cards to be refunded and then I could use them to purchase the iPhone.  I told him there was no way I could responsibly purchase the phone without using my gift cards, that I had been waiting to use them until this phone came out.  Rick was very apologetic, but assured me there was nothing else he could do.

I ended up leaving the store empty handed.  It was frustrating to have to watch him walk away with this phone that I had purchased online the night before, gotten e-mails from Apple that everything had gone through and was ready for pick up because of a glitch on Apple’s part. That this was an Apple problem, not AT&T, not anything in my control, and the only solution was to cancel my order.  No other solutions were offered.  Not “We can hold this phone for you until the Gift Cards clear,” or “We will try to contact Apple Support for help with this.”  Just a solution that left me leaving the store without the product I had ordered and paid for the night before.

This is in no small way the worst retail shopping experience I have had in years.  Not only did I follow to the letter the directions that Apple Specialists had told me to do in order to ensure I would be able to get the phone when I want, but it actually looked like I would get the phone at the store, and the walk away empty handed because of an issue on Apple’s part.

I now have to wait another week (to make sure the money is back on the gift cards and the refund has made it to my debit card) and will probably have to order the phone the same way, only to hope I don’t have the same experience all over again.  I have never ordered something online only to have such a disappointing experience when I go to pick up the product.

The Apple store had always been the great place to visit, and an excellent place to purchase products.  This trip has gone a long way to changing my mind.

At this point I’m left with the feeling that if I try to order a phone again online to be picked up at the store I will only have the exact same experience of frustration and disappointment.  What leaves me even more sad is that I would still like to get an iPhone 5 in the near future.  However instead of that being an experience I am looking forward with excitement and joy, I am left with indifference and a lingering feeling that nothing will be different from how the trip was today.

So there’s that.

Today I decide to call their customer service and officially complain.

I talk to Ashley, who directs my call to some named Samantha.

I talk to Samantha and tell her my whole story and her response to me is:

“That’s awful.  The money should be back on the gift cards in a week and you should be able to buy a phone then.”

I ask her if it will happen again and she says:

“Well, I don’t want to tell you that it won’t happen again.  There is a chance it will happen again. I don’t want to tell you it won’t happen because then you’ll be mad at me if it does.”

That there is my favorite line of the whole conversation.

I ask what can be done if it happens again:

“Well nothing.  That is the procedure for when this issue happens.”

I tell her that this is really frustrating.  That I did everything I could to ensure this would be a smooth process and am really concerned that no matter what I do it will happen again.

“Well I would love to tell you that it won’t but I can’t.  And I can’t do anything else for you.  I’d love to offer you a case or upgrade or something but because your order was canceled I can’t do any of that.”

Nothing.  Not one thing she can do to help.  There is no one else.  This is just how it is.

I can’t get past the fact that I didn’t cancel my order. Rick did.  That it’s their issue.  Samantha told me so on the phone.  But that there is nothing that can be done.  I’m sure she ticked off on some chart or form that my problem was solved (it wasn’t), that I’m satisfied (I’m not) and that she did her job well (this one’s a maybe… maybe its her job to deal with a polite customer explaining a shitty experience and tell them that there is a good chance they will go through it all over again.. I don’t know).

You rock Apple.  Way to ruin my iPhone experience.

Now I realize this is bitching about nothing particularly rough at all.  That for all I know a week from now I’ll walk away from the Apple store with an iPhone 5 in my hand.  And that there are still power outages and ruin lives in the wake of Hurricane Sandy.  That the election is tomorrow.  That there is still a war going on in Afghanistan.

And yes my world hasn’t ended.  I got up and went to work today.

But Apple.  You Freaking Suck.  A lot.  I want to know that when I order it online for store pick up I actually get to pick it up in the store.  I want to know that when I call customer service with an issue you will offer some sort of solution that isn’t “Try again and hopefully this won’t happen again (there’s a chance it will though and in that case you’re still screwed).”

Middle Income?

Any one else offended that Mitt Romney can’t refer to me as ‘Middle Class’? Rather he refers to me as ‘Middle Income.’

So Mitt looks at me (and I’m sure a majority of you) by income.

That’s kind of offensive.