Fred and the Flower

I bought an for my phone that rolls dice. Each die has different picture on the side and you are supposed to write a story based on the pictures you roll.

So here is story 1.

Fred and the Flower

Once upon a time a man named Fred was sleeping near the town fountain. He awoke to find a stranger making a weird smile at him. This confused Fred. To be perfectly honest, Fred found strangers slightly scary, especially smirking ones.

When Fred turned to look in the fountain he saw his reflection. Aghast Fred found that he had a Flower coming out of his ear. Now Fred was not normally the kind of man to wear flowers as part of his attire, much less grow one out of his ear. He was a little distraught, and although he tugged with all his might the flower could not be plucked.

After much thought, Fred decided to keep the flower. Besides, its bright yellow petals were a nice distraction. Fred even considered writing a story about a man with a flower growing out of his ear. It sounded like a good children’s tale when he told it in his head. But then Fred remembered that bookmaking had been banned in his country for many years. The problem was the dreaded arrow-headed scarabs that had invaded a century before. They were a beautiful shiny blue cobalt color with dark arrow shaped horns and eyes so large that they looked like cute little anime characters. Sadly though, trees had been practically wiped out by the all consuming bark loving species.

Rumor had it that the town of ‘L’ in a neighboring country had skilled bookmakers. L was far to the west, across vast mountain tops. Everyone knew the scarabs hated the cold and wouldn’t cross frigid peaks. Trees would surely be abundant in L.

Fred made up his mind. He wanted to put his story into words for the whole world to read and the scarabs, however shiny and cute they were, had made that impossible. (Truth be told, they were quite the pests. They liked to stab people ever so slightly in the ankles with their arrow-shaped horns. Boots had come into fashion around the same time as the scarabs moved in.) He packed up his things, put on his hat (with a hole cut in the side for the flower to show) and started his long journey….

And here are the dice.

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Sunglasses

My eye doctor told my I should wear sunglasses all the time. I’m sure he meant all the time when I am outside, but I wonder if I can use this as an excuse to wear sunglasses at work.

When I die

I told Sam that I have planned out how I die.

You see when I die, I going to use my death to set up a mystery that only Reggie can solve. I’m sure he will need Pat’s help as well.

I can see it I perfectly. As I die my last words will be “get reg.”.

Reggie will show up and be like “One yellow shoe… Curious.”

After some thought and speculation he will deduce that the yellow shoe is in reference to the pair of yellow shoes I owned in college and that he needs to find the other shoe.

The mystery will evolve from there until the whole scenario somehow leads to Reg being indirectly responsible for my death.

Sam has since informed me that she would ensure my death by punching me if I ever try this.

Dear Spotify

Dear Spotify,

Kick Ass.  You have all the Helicopter Helicopter albums.  Seriously, I have trouble searching the internet for those guys, much less listening to their albums.  You have the new Weston album and all of their back albums (new album isn’t that great, but its on there).

EUPHONE ALBUMS.  Bam.  They’re there.  The Suite Unraveling.  Old album is there (I have the new one so its not too big a deal).  Hum.  The Sheila Divine.  Pulp. Piebald.  Stars. Ween.  Wussy.  Sky Larkin.  Rancid.  Smashing Pumpkins. The Cure. White Stripes. Radiohead. PJ Harvey. Pixies. Men at Work (that’s right… I like Men at Work… the band that is). Blondie (the 80’s had some good songs).  JETS TO FUCKING BRAZIL.  Casino versus Japan.

All the bands I like to listen to and a gazillion more.  You just might be worth it.

AJ