Its been a while, and rather than summarize everything in the last couple weeks I’ll just write whats on my mind now.

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9/11 is a weird day.  Aside from being Sarah’s birthday (Happy Birthday!!!), I don’t know how I feel about it.

I remember 9/11, Sean and I were at Alena’s house, the last stop on our rather eventful cross-country drive.  Alena woke us up with a “We’re under attack.”  I had no idea what she was talking about until we went downstairs and saw the television.  I remember thinking that Huong, my girlfriend at the time was going to NYU and I had no idea how close she was to the World Trade Centers, but pretty sure she’d be fine.  I wasn’t paralyzed with fear, or freaking out, or even concerned for my own safety.  I did try to get Huong on the phone (which took a long time, but I did eventually talk to her).

I remember being cynical about it.  I mean we were in Erie Pennsylvania, not exactly a high priority target for anyone.  Sean and I didn’t even postpone that leg of our trip.  We still took off and headed to Buffalo, on 9/11.  I had plans to stay in Niagara University with a few friends for a day or two.  I made it there (it took a while, with the US/Canada borders closed trucks were backed up for miles).  I recall talking to my mother, who said if there was a draft keep heading towards Canada (I knew there wouldn’t be a draft).

It wasn’t “a brand new day” in my eyes.  I even remember talking to my then friend Steve (a devout Conservative Republican) who said “aren’t you glad that Gore didn’t get elected now” to which I replied “are you kidding me, do you honestly believe that whoever got elected had any impact on whether or not the attacks took place.”  I mean really, using 9/11 as a vindication for who was president is just sad.

All those memories of that time aside, what do I think now.  9/11 was terrible.  There no debating that.  9/11 was defining.  No debating that.  I dont’ know if 9/11 changed my life.  Really.  I don’t think my life is any different than it would have been had 9/11 not happened.  I think its important to remember that the USA does have enemies out there.  But our enemies are the majority of the population out there.  That a government, group, or enclave of people does not always represent the majority or the will of the people.

Demonizing a religion for what a small few do is ridiculous.

Rights in the USA apply to all citizens, even when you think its in bad taste.

Hatred, and anger should not be motives for changes in society or law.

While I believe the war in Iraq was started under false pretenses and motives, the war in Afghanistan has been a tragedy and I hope for better days for Afghanistan in the future.

The fact that its 9 years later and construction at Ground Zero is still in it infancy and not nearing completion is just sad.

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I won’t forget 9/11/2001.  I won’t forget that we were attacked.  I also won’t forget that many muslims lost their lives in those attacks (no, I’m not talking about the terrorists), alongside of many jews, christians, hindus, atheists and people of other religious beliefs.  And in that moment when they lost their lives they were not defined by their religion, but rather were all people, who died needlessly.

And while I remember them, I won’t use that memory to support my own beliefs, wants or desires.  Nor will I use their memory to deny someone their rights.  Instead I will remember them, solomly, and keep on living my life with purpose that matters to me, because if and when I die, I don’t my memory to be associated with hatred, ignorance, or bigotry.  I don’t want my memory to be used to push an agenda, or to tell someone else that their religious beliefs are wrong, or that their rights, gaurenteed in the Constitution and build into the foundation of this country should be taken away, because someone else doesn’t agree. I would rather someone look at my life and remember me for who I was, a flawed person who tried to live a good life, and remember that life, not my death.

That’s what 9/11 makes me think about.  Not patriotism.  Not loss.  Not a cause or a purpose.  But a reason to keep living my life.  And to remember that there are tragedies, but our country was built to endure tragedies and to prove how our way of life, of basic freedoms for all people to live free, is strong enough to survive.