Ok.  Aside from a crazy long road trip this last weekend and a my nephew being born things have been a little slow lately.  However those two things are rather large.

Tomorrow marks my brother’s birthday.  Weird.  Haven’t talked to him in a long while.  I wrote him a letter.  I should mail it off.  Probably will tomorrow.  He’s in basic training right now.  And I don’t want to say I’m not supportive, but maybe I’m a little indifferent.  It feels hard to put a lot of emphasis into caring when I haven’t spoken to him in any great length since last July, and even then he just blew me off.  I was waiting and sitting and hoping he would call me, or reach out in some manner, like I’ve tried for him on occasions in the past, but it never happened.  The letter I wrote could hardly be called a letter at all.  Its filled with minutia.  I really was hoping we could clear the air in person, or at least on the phone.  We are brothers after all, and as easy as it would be to forgive, its still hard to forget.

Its hard to forgive someone you don’t really know, and out of all my siblings, I just don’t know my brother.  And of the opportunities we’ve had to get to know each other, I got excited, and then let down when the didn’t come about.  And that was the most frustrating part.  Maybe he didn’t want to get to know me.  Maybe he did and didn’t know how to go about it.  But then again, it really felt like he didn’t even try.  I’m an easy person to clear the air with, I’m quick to forgive.  But only if I see effort and reason to.

Hmmm…. reminds me of what I always told my sixth grade students.  “I’ll always care about your grades and work, probably more than you do.  But until you care about them, and put in the work that goes along with caring about them, nothing is going to change.”  Anyways, happy birthday PJ.  I hope its a great day than all your other days in basic.

(and I say all of this even though he didn’t write me for my birthday, or say happy birthday to me in any manner last month)