Tag: meisaj
Its about me.
Holy Crap Part Two:
So to follow up from my dream about the tiger.
In it, prior to the the tiger, I was here at my parent’s house, where I am now. There were some rats that were rabid, or zombie rats or something, and they were only in the basement, which is where I was staying with Angelo (Angelo came home with me for Christmas).
I went downstairs to look for him. Angelo came walking out from around a corner with another cat. It wasn’t DC (the last cat my parents had) or Fumbles (a cat they had a few years ago) or Oscar (my cat that died earlier this year), but it was a cat that seemed familiar to me. Angelo even got along with him as if they had lived together for years (which is weird, even though Oscar and Angelo lived together for years, they were never the type to follow each other around unless it was food time).
Anyways, they came around the corner, walking at first, and then running up the stairs behind me. This was also strange, because in the couple days we’ve been here Angelo has never ventured upstairs by himself. He’ll stare up from the bottom, but not walk up himself. And these aren’t the first set of steps he’s seen. Back in Buffalo he lived two years in an apartment where he had to go upstairs to use the litter box.
Back in the dream I was surprised to see this gnarly, old, patched-fur cat come strolling out. It looked bigger than a cat, but definitely a cat. It laid on its back and you could see missing patches of fur and scars where it looked like it had gotten in a fight. As I went closer to the cat it got bigger and bigger. Eventually it wasn’t a cat. I was close enough to touch it when I realized it was a bengal tiger. I slowly backed away but it flipped over on its feet and crouched low. As I turn to run up the stairs it leaps at me.
And that’s where I woke up thrashing. When I stood up out of bed I almost jumped back on the bed thinking there would be zombie rats (or rabid rats) on the floor.
Bizarre. First really vivid dream I’ve had in a while.
Squeaky Bones
While walking this week I heard a very low squeak noise with every step I took. At first I thought I was imagining it. The I thought it really was coming from my hip, or titanium, or something. It happened while I was wearing my glasses and I thought that was it.
It would always happen at work. As soon as I got home it would stop. It took me until today to figure it out. It was my belt. Somehow, despite never having done it in the past, my belt now squeaks with every step. Makes me feel mechanical or something.
Just… Weird.
Favorite Noise
I have a favorite noise. Its not a secret. I tell lots of people.
I sometimes wonder if other people have favorite noises. It may be an odd thing to have a favorite of, but whatever. A long time ago I decided my favorite noise was from those disposable cameras. That slight noise they make when you charge up the flash. You have to hold the camera up to your ear to hear it, but its there, and it is quite awesome.
I haven’t heard it in a long time. In the age of cameras on cell phones and inexpensive digital cameras a disposable one isn’t much use, but for some reason I thought of that sound yesterday. Brought those warm fuzzy feelings of the hearing the flash back to the forefront.
A Bounce
I love having a bouncy ball with me. I bounce it walking down the halls at work. I bounce it walking down the sidewalk by my apartment. I bounce it at stores and friends’ houses. It is how I relax. Its how I center myself.
I once read that playing a high concentration sport was great for stress. The article cited tennis. You have to focus all your energy on the game when you play tennis. It is similar to meditation. A focusing of your mind on the present. Forgetting all the rest of the stuff around you, ignoring the world except the immediate surroundings.
The bouncy ball does that for me. I have to focus on it. I have to relax while bouncing it. If I’m not focused on it I miss the ball and have to chase after it. I’m pretty good at it to. Got all the angles down so to say.
So when I walk down the sidewalk bouncing the ball, I have a smile on my face. I’m sure people are staring at me. I’m sure people are wondering what’s going on in my head. Essentially I love it. Its different. Its rather unique (come on… when’s the last time you saw a grown man – and I think at 33 I qualify as grown – bouncing a bouncy ball in public).
It’s me. It fits.


